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|  the things I've learned Wow. I have never been big on hugs. When I was young there was not much physical contact other than the peck on the cheek out the door. That's the way it was. When my daughters were growing up it was a liitle more. Occassional hugs, pecks on the cheek, hand holding. But still very restrained. I have gotten more hugs in the last three weeks from more people than I EVER thought possible. And all I can say is, "THANK YOU". I have not turned away any arm, any shoulder, any contact. It all means so much to me. Every "I'm sorry", I want to say thank you. Yes, I have told all these people that personally. Thank you. Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for the sympathetic "how are you?" (yes, it does sound much different than the normal how are you, by the way). I lived a life of lies, deception, unanswered questions, holding back. That era ended March 24, 2008. I have told everyone I will take anything they offer. Words, food, hugs, "how are you's", anything. I will even talk to you about my daughter. About how we are truly doing. What I WON'T do. I won't fall apart in front of you. I won't blubber on your shoulder. I won't turn you away if you want to give me a hug. I have learned so much in the last three weeks. I have learned to accept, graciously, what you have to offer. I have learned that I am stronger then even I thought I was. I have learned that through death comes life, and learning, and growth! I have learned that I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, and even more then that I learned that I have co-workers that truly care. I have learned that in life you do what you are comfortable with, and that may change from moment to moment (second to second, actually). I've learned to soak in the small things because you may not have years to reminisce. Do it now. Soak it in. Reminisce about what happened last weekend. It's the only way to put it in that long term memory slot. At least it is for me.
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