Staying home
Tuesday, Mar. 24, 2009 - 8:00 a.m.

I'm going to stay home today.
I bought a paper journal to write down things about Jess. I haven't been able to do that yet. I think I'm ready to start today. I have a lot I want to tell her kids. There is so much to tell about her. 25 years worth of stuff.
Little E and I talk about her often. I enjoy it. I know he does too! If we do something that reminds him of his mom he will bust out and say, "Oh! That reminds me of a memory!" And he'll tell me what the memory is.
Whenever I do something for baby A that I would have done for her mom, like braid her hair, I will tell baby A, "I used to do this for your mommy." I hope it helps her feel connected to her mom in some small way.

Everyone is worried about me being alone today. I have to admit I was a bit nervous when everyone walked out the door. But I think I'm going to like it. I will be able to spend time with my thoughts, and spend time with Jess.
It's going to be an ok day. I think.

previous - next