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Friday, Mar. 14, 2008 - 4:17 p.m.

It's only been a couple of weeks since my last entry. It seems like a lifetime. Not that anything has changed. It's all status queue. Little E gets bigger every day. God, I love that boy to no end. I really do. Yes, he does 5 year old little boy stuff that pisses me off to no end, but still I love the living daylights out of him. S went away for 5 days. Headed to Arizona to take care of his mom and dad. Missed him like nobodies business while he was gone. Three days back, and I've been wondering what I was thinking. Not sure where that feeling is going at this time...
Still have baby A. That is still status queue after SEVEN long months. We have had a "meeting" every month for the last seven months and we are still at the same exact spot we were when this whole thing started. The ONLY difference is, we have proof, in writing, from the POS daddy, that he hurt baby A. Took his anger out on her and he was pissed that she would cry when he took said anger out on her!! What the??? Does anyone know how that feels to a grandparent when one sees in writing that another human being is taking their anger out on a BABY?!?!?!?! Not sure. Sometimes I feel quite alone in my journey in life. Yes, S is there, but we have two completely different views on all of it. Me, being female and the mother/grandmother of the subjects involved, and him being male and the step father/grandfather of the situation. Yes, I know he loves those babies. I can't ask for anything more. But we see it in two different scenerios. It makes it hard.
I'm ready for it to all be easy. I know that some day my time will come. I'm not giving up yet. It just gets tiring. I guess my biggest wish is that I had a partner that was at the same level physically, mentally, and emotionally as me. I know all those things are not possible at all times, but it seems we don't meet anywhere at any level right now. I guess that is a bigger wish then the universe can fulfill at this time.

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